I have a scarf the same color. I would let Ludivine, my French teen prostitute bank-robbing partner, wear it. We would peel away our Serge Gainsbourg masks, laughing, as the gendarme pathetically try to keep up with us. We would leave KFC bones as our calling card. We would make love in the Hadron Collider as a form of protest. Empires would topple. The Twins would win the World Series again. She would die in my arms, riddled with bullets, but not in the car, because there’s no fucking way I let ANYBODY bleed in that car.
Chris Burden - Metropolis II @ LACMA. Where are my Hot Wheels? I want to build stuff with Hot Wheels now.
Ha! I snapped a shot of an Ellsworth Kelly print at LACMA! That’s right, security guard, I’m a ninja! (Actually, I had no idea you weren’t supposed to take pictures there. So sorry, won’t happen again)
Laundry, Ellsworth Kelly exhibit at LACMA, now Giants/49ers game. I am a motherfucking renaissance man.
1, 3, 5, 8, 10, 13, 16, 17, 18 and 20 are @horse_ebook Tweets. The rest are real band names. And fuck off with your stupid text formatting, Tumblr, which also sounds like a @horse_ebooks tweet.
- Commercial Ghost
- Architecture In Helsinki
- Nine Factorial - [THIS ONE WAS A TRICK. I MADE IT UP! HIGH FIVE!]
- Russian Circles
- Dear Butterfly Enthusiast
- Jeff The Brotherhood
- Wye Oak
- Potential Lovers
- Akron/Family
- Swimming Winner Hypnosis
- Keep Shelly In Athens
- Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
- Fruit Flies Or Not, I Do Have A Heart
- The Sound Of Arrows
- Youth Lagoon
- The Art Of Fungi
- The Emetophobia Eraser Program
- So You Want To Be A Stargazer?
- Wolves In The Throne Room
- Onion Finger
Indie Band Name or @horse_ebooks Tweet?
- Commercial Ghost
- Architecture In Helsinki
- Nine Factorial
- Russian Circles
- Dear Butterfly Enthusiast
- Jeff The Brotherhood
- Wye Oak
- Potential Lovers
- Akron/Family
- Swimming Winner Hypnosis
- Keep Shelly In Athens
- Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
- Fruit Flies Or Not, I Do Have A Heart
- The Sound Of Arrows
- Youth Lagoon
- The Art Of Fungi
- The Emetophobia Eraser Program
- So You Want To Be A Stargazer?
- Wolves In The Throne Room
- Onion Finger
Answers later today! No cheating!
Rod Stewart celebrates his 6,781st birthday today!
The Faces - “Stay With Me” (1971)
Thin White Rebel Alien
Feeling a bit better this morning - I’d say only 90% of humanity is horrible, as opposed to the 95% poll numbers taken last night in my angry mind. Oh, there was genuine Italian Nutella on the table this morning, so, 89%, factoring in Italians who make Nutella.
Anyways, David Bowie turned 65, and even though I should despise him for still being better-looking than I’ll ever be, I don’t. His work is extraordinary. The lyrics to Life On Mars are as good as anything Bob Dylan ever wrote, and I’d stand on your coffee table to tell you so. If I were gay, I’d try to go out with him, even though that is seriously punching over my weight class, and then, even though we’d have lovely conversations about art and cinema and music, he’d find out I was a sports fan, and we’d get to that you’re-really-great-but-we’re-not-compatible bit. Sigh.
So Spotify made a playlist to celebrate, but it’s a retread of his greatest hits, which any shaved monkey with access to Wikipedia can make. The link above is to my list, comprised of tracks not usually heard on a Triple Play Tuesday. Enjoy. (The isolated vocal and cello track to Space Oddity is especially lovely)
Lana Sator, the girl that snuck into a Russian missile factory.
It was easy to get in. She just went there, jumped over the fence and got right into the heart of the complex through a series of tunnels and pipes, which was very surprising. After all, this is an active industrial installation that belongs to one of the top manufacturers of liquid-fuel rockets in the world. Their engines power the modern Soyuz, the Zenit 3SL, and the Angara and Baikal launch vehicles. Heck, their RD-180 engine powers the first stage of the Atlas V, an American rocket. More importantly, they have specially strong ties to the Russian military.
And yet, she found nobody. No guards, no security. Nothing. Just a few CCTV cameras here and there in rooms packed with huge machinery.
Maybe the security guy was in the bathroom.
Source: thoughtpeach
Buy Twitter Followers
This cannot be real. It can’t.
Fuck You Awards - Last Week
- APPLE - My MBPro hard drive crapped out after 10 months. This was a gift from a friend while I was recovering from surgery, and the warranty still covered it, but still, that’s a bit of coin for something to die so quickly. So fuck you and your precious, expensive, beautifully designed shit, that make grown men and women sleep in the street like a bunch of fucking half-wits so they CAN HAVE IT FIRST. And start feeding those motherfucking Chinese factory workers some decent food, because a hard drive that dies after ten months means they are tired of Funyuns being the only thing in the People’s Break Room.
- DIRECTV - So right after the drive goes, my SD receiver also has a stroke. DirecTV would be happy to replace my receiver for $19.99 S/H. Excuse me? I have to pay you to replace YOUR broken box that I’m already LEASING from you every month? Were the staff there replaced by Somali pirates? How about you pay me not to strangle you through the phone, cheeseboat? What’s that? You’re going to waive the fee? What a guy. Cunt.
- MY FLAT TIRE - All cars should be set on fire and never used again, and the money we would have spent on cars should go to resurrecting dinosaurs we can saddle and use for transportation. Doesn’t going to work on a dinosaur sound like fun? Or just spend the money on interconnecting tube-pod-shuttles like they had on Logan’s Run.
- AYSO - No, please, call me up at 4PM ON CHRISTMAS EVE to ask me if my daughter wants to play on a Spring Team, and then, when I tell you yes, I think so, but I’ll have get back to you, because IT’S 4PM ON THE EVE BEFORE CHRIST WAS BORN AND PEOPLE HAVE A HUNDRED FUCKING GIFTS TO WRAP, don’t bother telling me that you need an answer right away or we’re fucked, as I found out two weeks later. No really, thanks. Totally worth coaching a team and ALSO refereeing several games throughout the season while getting yelled at by asshole parents who don’t know the fucking rules. Merry Christmas.
That’s it for now. I’m going to go exercise so innocent people won’t die tomorrow in my toxic rage cloud. Also, I realize that everything I listed is a White Person’s Problem, but I’m Puerto Rican, and a New Yorker, so, cursing can be healing. Namaste.
P.S.: Oh hey, Hanna Anderson? I better start seeing some fucking black and hispanic kids in your catalog, especially after all I’ve spent on your bloody clothes, bastards. You don’t even have asian babies in there and asian babies are RIDICULOUS.
