No Good Answer

brilliantorange:

atsween:

stuffparty:

sniffyjenkins:

luckyshirt:

inthefade:

delgrosso:

funsizebytes:

I hereby begin the canonical list of questions for which there are no good answers:

  1. Which of these kids is boning my teenage daughter?

  2. What kind of cancer do I have?

  3. What is that sticky stuff that I just stepped in with my bare feet?

Adding:

  1. Why does Mail.app hate me so much?
  2. Who is in charge of Capital One’s marketing department, and why is he spending so much fucking money on direct mailings to me?
  3. When that fat bagel-half gets stuck in my toaster, should I remove it with the serving fork or the steak-knife?

4. So, how did you get that flashlight stuck up your ass?

5. How did I get an STD if my boyfriend is the only guy I’ve ever slept with?

6. I haven’t had my period in like three months and I’ve gained some weight and I’m sick every morning. What could it be?

7. [To teenage son] You’ve been in the shower for 40 minutes. What the hell are you doing in there?

8. How long do I have to live?

9. Is there a God?

10. What’s in this Cadbury Creme Egg?

11. Why are you in my laundry basket?

12. Who the hell are you anyway?

13. Do those trousers you’ve just found in my laundy basket make either of us look fat?

14. Are you my daddy?

15. Well, isn’t there something you can do?

16. Which version of Vista should I get?

17. Why don’t you love me, Mom?

18. Should I be proud of this much blood in my stool?

19. What’s Twitter?

20. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

21. How soon is now?

22. WTF?

Source: tj